Finding Balance in a World of Temptation: Insights from Dr. Anna Lembke on Addiction, Resilience, and Connection
We are hardwired to seek stimulation. Our phones offer endless entertainment. We can order food, shop, or connect with anyone instantly. But is this constant availability truly making us happy? Dr. Anna Lembke, a Stanford psychiatrist specializing in addiction medicine, answers this and other questions on the New York Times The Interview podcast with Lulu Garcia-Navarro.
Dr. Lembke’s research shows that our evolutionary wiring to seek pleasure is being exploited by the modern world, creating an environment where we constantly chase dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. From our phones to processed foods, social media to online shopping, our culture is saturated with distractions that lead us to overconsume and underconnect.
Understanding the Pleasure-Pain Balance
The pleasure-pain balance governs how our brain responds to pleasure: for every high, there is a corresponding low. The more pleasure we seek, the more pain we create for ourselves. This cycle, known as the “dopamine deficit state,” leads to addiction. What we think is satisfying us is actually setting us up for greater dissatisfaction.
"For most of human existence, we've lived in a world of scarcity and ever-present danger, and so that mechanism for processing pleasure and pain... is what keeps us seeking out new and novel pleasures, never satisfied with what we have, always wanting more,” Dr. Anna Lembke on This Helps with Marlon Morgan.
In today’s world, we’re constantly exposed to stimuli that give us pleasure without any effort—think of the way our phones pull us back in, or how easily we can access entertainment or food. The more we indulge, the more our brain requires these dopamine hits to feel normal. This cycle, if left unchecked, can lead to addiction and an erosion of our mental well-being.
Acknowledging Pain as a Path to Healing
Dr. Lembke offers hope in her conversation with our Founder and CEO, Marlon Morgan, on the This Helps podcast. She suggests an important step towards healing: embracing discomfort. Rather than seeking to avoid or numb pain, Dr. Lembke encourages us to sit with it. By acknowledging and experiencing our pain—whether emotional or physical—we can build resilience and develop a healthier relationship with both pleasure and suffering.
This concept is tied to acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a psychological approach that helps people accept their experiences and commit to actions that align with their values, even in the presence of difficult emotions. It’s about moving toward what’s hard rather than running from it.
The Importance of Connection
In a world where we are constantly searching for more—more pleasure, more consumption, more stimulation—Dr. Lembke reminds us that what we really need is more meaningful relationships with others. The rise in loneliness, anxiety, and depression is not just about individual struggles. It is about the breakdown of the human connections that provide meaning and support in our lives.
We have the responsibility to foster environments where real, authentic connections are nurtured. This can look like creating safe spaces for conversation, promoting vulnerability, and encouraging presence over perfection. Whether it's through a simple conversation or shared experiences, building these connections can be a powerful antidote to the disconnection many of us feel.
What can we do?
Embrace Discomfort: Instead of avoiding difficult emotions or situations, lean into them. Resilience grows when we face challenges head-on.
Limit Dopamine Triggers: Take a step back from the constant dopamine hits. Set boundaries on social media, limit screen time, and be mindful of how these habits affect your mental health.
Create Space for Connection: Make time for face-to-face interactions. Encourage open dialogues about mental health and create communities that prioritize emotional well-being.
Lead with Empathy: As leaders, we must acknowledge the struggles that those around us face. This is not a time to isolate; it’s a time to reach out and support one another.
By applying these principles, we can begin to heal from the chaos of modern life and build a more resilient and connected future.
Dr. Lembke’s conversation with Marlon Morgan is a powerful reminder that the path to healing is not through constant comfort, but through embracing what is difficult—and fostering the connections that will support us along the way.
Listen to the full episode of This Helps with Marlon Morgan and Dr. Anna Lembke here.
Additionally, hear Dr. Lembke’s thoughts on this topic in her New York Times The Interview podcast here.